ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
