WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
