oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
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