Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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