she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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