Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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