Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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