Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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