U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Found the puke drawer
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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