I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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