Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
