I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Oh god it's open bar.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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