Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
