dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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