im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize