the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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