I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
