there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize