I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
