he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
