Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I stole a fireplace last night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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