Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
