My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Randomize
