and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
