I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
