Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
