What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
