what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
