First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
