What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Maybe he injected his testicle?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
