just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
