that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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