Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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