STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
