R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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