just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
