if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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