I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
