she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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