I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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