so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
God I need to hump something, right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
