"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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