I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
