When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
