We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
