i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
