i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
