Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
