My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
