Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
His hands were made for my vagina.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
