It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
