you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
