he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
