...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
