i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
