hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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