So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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