Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize