it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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