All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
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That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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