thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
