I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
then he tried to convert me to islam
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
