You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
