Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
